Dear Queen,
Before I begin my prayer time this morning, I want to share with you my realization of who I Am. I am a man, who's been beaten, raped, stolen from, reduced to nothing, cornered, flogged with wrathful scorn, plunged into the deepest depths of darkness, and rendered useless by the enemy and all who opposed Love. I am not a sum total of my failures or circumstances. I am beyond. There is no real reason I should be alive. I've been in no less than 7 near death experiences. I've come into contact with several life threatening diseases and destructive forces that should've taken me out. I've lost my way and given way to suicidal tendencies several times in life. Etc. However, the main reason I live today, is my First Love, Jesus. He snatched me up from the chords of death. He cut off, at the root, the descent into alcoholism and drug addiction in my life. He tore the veil of shame and guilt over my life choices from me. He fought to keep me alive and keep me in Love. And He won. When I met you, first in my Heart, when I was 5 years old, I knew that You and I were going to be the most powerful couple in history. That's big dreams for a little boy. But my adventurous spirit took me on a journey. One that won't end at our Altar call. I desired nothing more than to Love a woman with all of me, giving her the Grace shown to me, and constantly pointing her back to my First Love, Jesus. As my mentor and big brother, He showed me how to Love another. Starting with Himself. Through singing, I began to worship. Through rap, I began to War. Then, He showed me how to Love someone else. Through trial and error, I lost my selfishness. I still struggle with knowing my worth, this being primary, to a Strong Love. But it wasn't until just two years ago, He taught me how to Love myself. I was consumed with hatred for myself. I desired truly that I be taken advantage of. Because I knew no different in my Life. This morning, standing more fully in who I Am than I ever have, I see that these efforts by Jesus to form me and shape me, where for You. This is all about You. When I knew You, I saw the Love You deserved. And rather than run and cheat You of it, I had to humble myself, and carry You with me, like a Cross. At first I was burdened. But as I realized the Holy Divine task I had, I relished in the challenge and reveled in the power I had to actually Love someone fully. And I started walking. And I never looked back. This was never about me: this was about You. God creates nothing bad. He valued You in Your mother's womb and before time began. He shocked the world when you came on the scene. And He invested time into Your heart's desires. He said," I WILL make a Man after my own Heart for You. As my Queen, You deserve no less than one who would serve You and lead You to servanthood of Love." He designed me, flaws and all, to be Your equal, and I asked Him to make me Your servant. All that's yours to do is receive the free gift of my Love. I require nothing but acceptance. When You run I will chase. When You fly, I'll carry you as the Wind carries the eagle. When You fall, I will do my best to catch You. When You die, I will walk You into our heavenly Home. When You need to get away, I'll give You space. When You need the arms of Love, I'll hold You and never let You go. And when You need to give, I will bow and receive You. I was made for You. I was made to Love You and be Loved by You. Regardless of the time of day or the season of life, You've been on my Heart since I was 5 and wanted a wife and kids. God makes no mistakes. Let me Love You more. This is all that I Desire. Today, July 8th, 2015, I, Genesis, hereby vow, not to give my Heart away to another, not to try to place someone in my life because of loneliness or suffering, and not to remove You from my Heart or Mind for same said reasons. I vow to stay faithful to You. Whether You are physically present in my Life or not. And I vow to pray, in Love and in Peace, for your arrival. And when I see You, coming up on the horizon, leaning on Your Beloved, Jesus, I vow to ask Him for wisdom and courage, to be given Your Beautiful Hand, to lead You back to Him every moment, to walk us back into His loving embrace every moment of every day for the rest of our lives, from this moment and on throughout eternity. I vow to learn how to become a good steward of my time, money, and gifts, truly valuing myself, and giving and receiving the offering of Love from those who run along side me and support me. I vow to create a space for You. A Home. Somewhere You can Come and rest as well as Grow. I vow to give us a family. First, a Body of friends and family to help us seek the most eternal good for each other and ourselves. And later, a physical family, in marriage. I vow to be a righteous and loving Father, attentive to the needs and pondering of our children. Ever praying for their growth in God and protecting them from all harm, especially the spiritual and emotional trauma we have both been victims of. I vow to be a Good Husband. One who sees and values the thoughts and opinions of His wife and carefully creates an equal place of leadership, while taking full responsibility for the road we walk and doing so with Faith and in fear and trembling. I vow to be a Passionate Lover. One who gives and receives. One who serves before being served. One who asks for help, which is so very hard to do. One who murders the prideful stance my heart would take in thinking I know what I'm doing without consulting my two most trusted confidants, Jesus and You. And I vow, to be honest and open about all things. An open line of communication, built on the foundation of understanding and grace and mercy. I vow to put You First, second only to Jesus. I vow to renew my vows to You daily, serving as my eternal reminder that loving You is a privilege and a gift, and that I am not God and You require God's love to be Loved well. My Love. Here I am. I call you Home. Find rest in Jesus today. Let Him lead You. Trust Him fully. He will not lead You astray. You know Him. You hear His voice. You see His face. He's standing with you, leading you each day. Stay with Him. I will be here when He decides to bring you to me. His timing is best. In the Eternal embrace of the Father of Lights, Genesis J. Martin Burkley, Sir Kuriakos Elias Chavara, Knight of the Holy Queen.
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